Words cannot express the loss that I feel, the loss that my whole family feels. My cousin Lindsay was a victim of a murder-suicide. I cannot believe it. Everyone is in a state of shock that is reverberating all over the city.
I had gotten off of work on Wednesday night at around midnight, I had several missed calls from my family, as well as a text message from a close friend saying “my condolences.” Before I did anything I knew something was wrong. It hit me like a ton of bricks right in the chest. I called my mother and she was at the hospital and was just there with my aunt and uncle watching their daughter die. She was 22. This is the most disturbing thing I have ever experienced. Someone dying in a car accident, I can understand that, but, murder? How do you deal with that? Especially a murder-suicide. Where is the justice? How can you get justice from this situation? Her ex-boyfriend who was a 40+ year old doctor, followed her to her new boyfriend’s home all the way from Waterloo to Jesup which is a good 20 minute drive. There was an altercation when she got out of the car and he shot her right in the chest, the shot himself in the chest. There are a lot of reports that he had suffered a traumatic brain injury within the last several years or so and that he was not “all there.” I don’t think that Lindsay was aware of this early on, otherwise this would have been a different story.
I’m glad this is getting worldwide attention. She deserves it. Too bad it had to be under these circumstances.
I was informed last night by her father than I will be a pall bearer in the funeral. Something I have never done, never thought about doing, ever. It seems only appropriate though, all of her male cousins carrying her body to its final resting place. We are like her collective big brothers. Her brothers, Joe and Chris had to come from different parts of the world, Joe from an Air Force base in Germany, Chris from an Air Force base in Idaho. I cannot imagine what they are feeling.
Lindsay is someone who has just always been there as we all grew up. I lived about a mile away from them and spent several youthful summers hanging out at their house. Lindsay and I always had an understanding growing up, a mutual respect for each other, we never fought and I never took sides in sibling in-fighting at their home. Just sat and observed the sometimes hilarious situations unfold. Joe, Chris and Lindsay are all such interesting and influential characters in my life and these past few days of reflection have reaffirmed my intense love for all of them. It is so sad to have to say goodbye to an essential part of our large family. We all fit together like a puzzle, she was a vital piece that will never be replaced. Lindsay was an overachiever, something I think she inherited from our grandfather who is an extreme overachiever, he was Mayor of our hometown, and a self-made millionaire, someone I suppose we all look up to and respect.
I still don’t think the enormity of the situation has hit me yet. I suppose we are all going through stages of grief. No one saw this coming obviously. The news is turning the situation into a Facebook issue. How he was stalking her via Facebook. I think the bigger issue with Facebook is that many people close to Lindsay found out about her murder on Facebook. Literally within minutes of it happening it was being reported on Facebook.
My biggest issue with this whole situation is why would they let a brain damaged person continue to work as a doctor? There were obviously issues with his coping abilities and stress handling abilities. This situation could have been averted.
Lindsay, if you can read this wherever you have found yourself, I just want you to know that you will be missed and I hope that wherever you are that you can feel the love and warmth that we as a family are projecting to you. If you meet God, tell him thanks for life. I am so glad that you were a part of my life Lindsay and you have left a mark on my life that will always be there.